Enterprise Servers

BogusTech Enterprise Servers

enterprise-server-systems-helpdeskThe Enterprise 3.0 data center requires enterprise servers which are high performance, low power consumption, easy to maintain, which efficiently run multiple operating systems and enterprise applications in a virtualized computing environment. Bogus Technologies competes with companies providing enterprise systems which do all of these things; but we have chosen to maximize ROI by investing our resources in executive perks, exotic customer entertainment and opulent office space rather than in advanced chip technology, multiprocessor architectures, virtualization algorithms, and green computing systems.

Quad-core six-core multiprocessor CPU cluster
In contrast with IBM z-Series, HP ProLiant, Dell PowerEdge R900, Sun SPARC Enterprise M9000 and Fujitsu SPARC Enterprise T5240 which utilize six-core and quad core processors, high speed SDRAM, sophisticated power management technologies and EMAS-compliant energy consumption, Bogus Technologies’ Celadon Enterprise Servers are assembled from recycled TRS-80s, DEC Rainbow CPU rejects, GE refrigerator chassis and spare parts found in refuse bins on the Yugo production line. These raw materials, combined with BogusTech’s inscrutable Agile Design Process, Lean Manufacturing System, assembly by third-world migrant workers with substance abuse issues, and our desultory technical support and professional services organizations, enable our customers to achieve the most truculent levels of performance, reliability and security while amplifying initial cost, maintenance expenses and TCO.

Celadon™ Enterprise Servers

BogusTech Celadon Enterprise Server systems are designed for the data center serving the global enterprise. Celadon systems are currently available in three configurations:

  • Celadon-SMB: Standalone tower with single 2,550 MIPS 6-core CPU, 1.26 petabyte DAS Storage with 1.42 TFLOPS I/O capacity for networking or auxiliary storage.
  • Celadon-Enterprise: Three cabinet, rack-mounted system with dual 3440 MIPS 8-core CPUs, 5.1 TFLOPS Fibre Channel I/O controller and 3.84 petabyte SAN storage array (NAS-T v12.1.3)
  • Celadon-Ubertrieben: Dodecahedral flexi-cabinet multiplex with shared backplane, tetrahedral 8-core 3,440 MIPS CPUs, redundant 5.1 TFLOPS I/O controllers for Fibre Channel and iSCSI, ASR33 Operators Console, and dual 5.41 petabyte Peta-File™ Hybrid SAN/NAS Storage Cluster.

Mid-Range Systems

  • For customers not requiring the utmost in computing power, storage capacity, global WAN support and exorbitant cost, Bogus Technologies has developed the Coprolite™ line of mid-range servers, starting at $1225 (parts kit only, some assembly required), including BogusTech’s comprehensive two-day warranty.
  • Coprolite-Base: Mini-tower configuration with single 725 KIPS CPU, 512Kb RAM and Dual Cassette DAT Storage Array.
  • Coprolite-Ultra: Rack-mountable single blade system with dual 650 KIPS CPUs, 756Kb RAM, 5.25″ Removable Flexible Disk Storage Drive, RAM-shackle I/O controller and vintage 12″ green screen monitor.

Factory assembly and software installation are available for an additional $3520. Plus $2295.50 for shipping and handling. 30-day warranty available for an additional $1275.50. Sales tax, VIN etching and undercoating not included. Call for a quote on a system custom configured for your requirements.

Server Virtualization

high-performance-cpu-chipNearly a decade after the general availability of sophisticated server virtualization features from IBM, HP and Sun, Bogus Technologies grudgingly implemented its perfunctory OTIOSE™ virtualization features in 2007. Accordingly BogusTech Enterprise Server virtualization is widely recognized as the ultimate in virtualization technology. Our Celadon Enterprise Servers and Coprolite Mid-Range Systems all come with the OTIOSE virtualization system pre-installed and preconfigured to confound even the most experienced team if IT professionals.

Green Computing

Celadon servers and storage subsystems are built in our carbon-neutral, Fair Trade Certified facility in Ateliers de Misere, Viet Nam. All systems are manufactured in accordance with BogusTech’s award-winning CHARTREUSE™ Green Computing standards. Celadon chassis, enclosures and peripherals are coated with low VOC paints derived from locally sourced free-range marsupials. Bogus Technologies sustainable computing systems are built utilizing 94% recycled components and an eco-friendly fabrication process that employs no old growth rainforest products or endangered species. Celadon Enterprise- and Ubertrieben-series servers are powered by BogusTech’s energy-efficient MoonShine™ lunar collectors, and cooled with re-circulated septic effluent, gray water and rainwater collection overflow.

Bogus Technologies has pioneered in eco-friendly and Green Computing nomenclature, including references to GCPI ratings and EMAS standards. Extensive use of obfuscating slogans, green computing jargon and eco-friendly terminology enables us to promote green computing features without actually engaging in a costly R&D program. During power outages, BogusTech Celadon customers have reduced power consumption by more than 98% while also lowering noise levels, heat generation and maintenance costs – with only a minor decrease in system availability. Under these real-world conditions, certified by an independent 3rd party test laboratory, BogusTech Celadon systems have achieved exceptionally low levels of energy consumption and outstanding GCPI scores.