BOGUS TECHNOLOGIES PRIVACY STATEMENT
SECTION 1 – WHAT INFORMATION DO WE COLLECT?
We do not collect any information from visitors to BogusTech.com
If you send us an email, snail mail, ransom letter, message in a bottle or find some other way to contact us, we will probably ignore your communication. Okay, we might respond if it is exceptionally funny or you include pictures of scary clowns.
If you call the numbers listed in our Global Offices page, you will get the local Dial-A-Prayer line. Given our complete disregard for our enterprise server, storage, software and consulting clients, we scornfully provide these numbers for Technical Support and VIP Premium Service. But as a rule, you’re going to get much better answers from Dial-A-Prayer than from our indolent professional staff.
SECTION 2 – DISCLOSURE
Since we are not collecting any info from you, we are unable to disclose this to other parties. What part of Section 1 did you not understand?
SECTION 3 – THIRD-PARTY SERVICES
In general, the third-party providers (like Google AdSense) used by us will only collect, use and disclose your information to the extent necessary to allow them to perform the services they provide to us. For these providers, we recommend that you read their privacy policies so you can understand the manner in which your personal information will be handled by these providers.
In particular, remember that certain providers may be located in or have facilities that are located in a different jurisdiction than either you or us. So if you elect to proceed with a transaction that involves the services of a third-party service provider, then your information may become subject to the laws of the jurisdiction(s) in which that service provider or its facilities are located.
SECTION 4 – SECURITY
We have an SSL certificate; but, like we said previously, we ain’t collecting any of your damn information. So it doesn’t matter if our website is secure or not.
QUESTIONS AND CONTACT INFORMATION
If you would like to register a complaint or simply want more information, you could waste your time and limited mental faculties by trying to contact our Privacy Compliance Officer at firstname.lastname@example.org or by mail at Bogus Technologies Inc. Go for it, Dude!